About These Op-Eds/ArticlesAfter working for several years with senior citizens as manager of a Medicare advocacy program administered by the California Department of Aging, I was fed up with old people jokes. It seemed to me that everyone laughed at old people and no one ever objected. My outrage led to my first published Op-Ed in the Los Angeles Daily News entitled “Growing Old is Hard to Do” on Sunday, July 19, 1999. Since then, I have written other Op-Eds for Christian Science Monitor, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Daily News, Pasadena Star-News, Orange County Register, and the Jewish Journal about a variety of topics, particularly the challenges and rewards of caring for aging parents.
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Is That You, Dad, or a Javelina?Published in the Pasadena Star-News on June 16, 2024
A common way people feel the presence of a loved one who has passed is when they see a butterfly or a bird, hear Dad’s favorite song, or eat a piece of pie like the one Mom used to make. I think of my mother when I hear birds chirping as they peck at the seeds from my birdfeeder, and it brings me comfort.
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Jimmy Carter and the Blessings of HospicePublished in the Pasadena Star-News on March 5, 2023
As 98-year-old President Jimmy Carter rests in hospice care, these memories are with me:
My dad was lying on a gurney, prepped for surgery. I sat next to him on a small stool a nurse gave me. He was in one of those skimpy hospital gowns, wearing a shower cap to cover his wispy gray hair, and covered with two blankets because surgery suites are always freezing. Have That End-of-Life Conversation Right NowPublished in the Pasadena Star-News on March 29, 2020
What do you say when your dad tells you he doesn’t want to live like this anymore? It’s a moment I clearly recall even though it was almost twenty years ago. I can still see exhausted, emaciated Dad sitting in a plaid cotton robe in his Medicare lift chair. He wore big block sunglasses due to an eye condition that made his eyes jiggle like jumping beans.
Her Dad's Lymphoma Was Terminal, So They Stopped Fighting DeathPublished in the Los Angeles Times August 8, 2009
My father died peacefully in his sleep at home not quite 10 years ago. Ever since, I tell people how incredible the experience was for my sister, my mother and me.
Old Age One of Life’s Greatest BlessingsPublished in the Pasadena Star-News on November 23, 2006
I went to a birthday party last week at a swanky restaurant. After years of kid birthday parties in the park or at a burger joint, this one was very refined and they served “adult beverages” as my Dad used to call them. It was a ninetieth birthday party for my friend, Ruby, a woman I greatly admire.
Don’t Let Guilt Rule Out the Retirement HomePublished in the Los Angeles Times on November 11, 2004
My mother and I arrived at the outpatient surgery center promptly at 8:00 a.m. She and she walked into the surgery suite while I wished her well and promised to guard her purse.
Make Wise Decisions for Inevitable JourneyPublished in the Pasadena Star-News on November 21, 2004
I was shocked when my husband told me that my mother’s physician returned my phone call. As soon as I got on the line, the doctor told me I was close-minded. Surgeons can be arrogant, but this one was over the top. His name closely approximated that phrase, so I bestowed it on him: Dr. Over-the-Top.
Elderly Parent Care Brings Us Full CirclePublished in the San Gabriel Valley News on April 11, 2004
My friend and I exchanged elderly parent horror stories over lunch last week. Like a couple of fishermen, we told tall tales. Your mom is crazy, but mine is crazier. My mom is more out-of-it than your mom. My mom wears me out more than yours wears you out. We sparred like a couple of prizefighters.
When Mom Lets Loose, It’s on the Wings of JusticePublished in the Pasadena Star-News on May 12, 2002
She finally made good on her promise; she pulled down my pants and spanked my six-year-old bare bottom. I was a willful child and my mother spanked me many times before. This was different – I had crossed the line.
If Mom Let Me Swear, Something Was Terribly WrongPublished in the Los Angeles Daily News on August 15, 1999
I called the hospital and was put through to the intensive care waiting room. My dad picked up. I knew immediately something was terribly wrong. He told me my mom had a heart attack during the surgery. He didn’t know where she was. No one was telling him anything. What was going on?
Boomers Should Accept Caregiver Role for ParentsPublished in the Los Angeles Daily News on July 19, 1998
A fellow baby boomer told me that our generation will be the first to care for our aging parents longer than our parents spent caring for us. It is a frightening thought for most boomers, who are now in middle age. I wonder if we are up to it.
Growing Old Is Hard to DoPublished in the Los Angeles Daily News on August 15, 1999
In an extremely self-conscious age, when we measure our words with careful precision, there is a group of people who are slandered, put down and treated with disrespect by a disturbing number of Americans.
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