Loving Choices, Peaceful Passing: Why My Family Chose Hospice |
Bob Vallee
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Meet Bob ValleeWhen Bob received the devastating diagnosis of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, he was given four weeks to live, without treatment. At the end of the third week of radiation his throat was so swollen he could not eat or drink. His wife Maryanne, and daughters Kathleen and Anne, knew the radiation was killing him faster than the cancer.
Like millions of his fellow Americans, Bob was rapidly headed for a terrible death in the hospital, enduring more futile radiation. When the doctor said he would need a stomach tube to continue treatment, the Vallee family said “no” and found another way. Choosing hospice care is not “giving up.” On the contrary, the last 29 days of Bob’s life were some of the richest of his 80 years on earth. He was able to live comfortably at home with the help of the hospice nurse and other professionals. Choosing hospice is not a death sentence, choosing hospice is an act of love. Offered here is an intimate account of how the myriad end-of-life decisions affect a family. It is a story of acceptance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and finally, awe for the fragility of life. |
Kathleen Vallee Stein
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About KathleenKathleen Vallee Stein is a Los Angeles based author whose opinion pieces have appeared in newspapers and magazines, including: Christian Science Monitor, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Daily News, Pasadena Star News, San Gabriel Valley Tribune, Orange County Registrar, and the Jewish Journal.
Stein's book Loving Choices, Peaceful Passing, Why My Family Chose Hospice is about her family's experience with hospice care for her father and is now available anywhere books are sold online and at Vroman's bookstore in Pasadena. |
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"As a hospice physician, I have witnessed the negative impact of our societal denial of death and subsequent medicalization of the dying process on the quality of a person's death and on the grief experience of their loved ones.
"In Loving Choices, Peaceful Passing: Why My Family Chose Hospice, Kathleen Vallee Stein shares a different narrative as she cared for her father at home in the final stages of his journey with lymphoma. "Beautifully written, this book invites the reader into the world of a person facing a life-limiting illness and offers insight into options and choices to allow for the best death possible. "The role of hospice to shepherd Kathleen and her family through this time of mystery, awe, and wonder is clear, and the resultant gifts of forgiveness, reconciliation, and peace are undeniable. "This book should be read sooner rather than later, and more than once, as it teaches as much about living as it does about dying." - Kevin Dieter MD, hospice physician, end-of-life care educator, and author of Facing Death with Grace: Finding Comfort in Life's Last Moments. Visit him at https://walking-home.com |
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“The information that Kathleen Vallee Stein shares from a daughter’s perspective about hospice is important because it’s one we [hospice physicians] don’t always hear. Loving Choices, Peaceful Passing: Why My Family Chose Hospice is a guide for families who are faced with end-of-life decisions and don’t know how to ask the doctor for help. Buy this informative and comforting book for yourself and another for a friend.”
- Karen Wyatt, MD, hospice physician and author of 7 Lessons for Living from the Dying. Visit her at https://karenwyattmd.com/wisdom
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Download a Free Medicare & Hospice Guide SheetThe information in the Medicare and Hospice Overview comes primarily from medicare.gov. It walks you through what Medicare covers with hospice, how to find a hospice provider, and gives helpful links for creating advance health care directives. This is my gift to you. No email required. (Updated for 2023.)
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Download Hospice and HopeUnderstand the difference between false hope and realistic hope with this guide created based on information I received from Karen Wyatt, MD.
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