If you raised children and have no regrets
STOP
reading this.
But if you are a human being who loves your children dearly and made many mistakes along the way, let's talk. There are thousands of parenting books that tell parents how to raise their children. Many times they set expectations that are simply impossible for the average parent to meet. Now there is a book where parents confess their biggest mistakes in raising their children that will give insight into the stresses and uncertainties of parenthood. The purpose of the book is to give parents who are raising children today a heads-up on potential parenting pitfalls.
You can contribute to the book that will revolutionize parenting.
What Were We Thinking?
Parents Confess Their Biggest Mistakes so You Can Avoid Them
I am looking for submissions from parents whose children are over the age of twenty one. The pieces must be original, true to your best recolection, in your own words and not previously published. Describe what you did, or didn't do, as a parent that you regret. All parents make thousands of mistakes, so choose one that you feel will be helpful.
Only first names will be used. Please "son" or "daughter" when referring to your children. Entries should be 200-800 words. There will be no monetary payment, just the satisfaction of inspiring others. Not all pieces submitted will be used in the book.
DO NOT submit any descriptions of child abuse or neglect, incest or just plain terrible stories that decent parents would not consider doing under any circumstances.
The spirit of the book is to share wisdom from the previous generation of parents to the next. To learn more contact kathleenvalleestein@yahoo.com
Sample submissions are listed below.
STOP
reading this.
But if you are a human being who loves your children dearly and made many mistakes along the way, let's talk. There are thousands of parenting books that tell parents how to raise their children. Many times they set expectations that are simply impossible for the average parent to meet. Now there is a book where parents confess their biggest mistakes in raising their children that will give insight into the stresses and uncertainties of parenthood. The purpose of the book is to give parents who are raising children today a heads-up on potential parenting pitfalls.
You can contribute to the book that will revolutionize parenting.
What Were We Thinking?
Parents Confess Their Biggest Mistakes so You Can Avoid Them
I am looking for submissions from parents whose children are over the age of twenty one. The pieces must be original, true to your best recolection, in your own words and not previously published. Describe what you did, or didn't do, as a parent that you regret. All parents make thousands of mistakes, so choose one that you feel will be helpful.
Only first names will be used. Please "son" or "daughter" when referring to your children. Entries should be 200-800 words. There will be no monetary payment, just the satisfaction of inspiring others. Not all pieces submitted will be used in the book.
DO NOT submit any descriptions of child abuse or neglect, incest or just plain terrible stories that decent parents would not consider doing under any circumstances.
The spirit of the book is to share wisdom from the previous generation of parents to the next. To learn more contact kathleenvalleestein@yahoo.com
Sample submissions are listed below.
We Ignored the Warning Signs
When our son entered junior high we knew he would be dealing with the challenges that puberty brings. We had been through it already with our daughter, and she managed with a minimum of stress, or so we thought.
The local public elementary school was very good, but the junior high did not have a good reputation. Our daughter completed grades seven, eight and nine there. She had told us about “fights with blood” at school and we knew the mother of one of her friends was in jail. Students who did well academically were mocked in school award assemblies. She played saxophone in the jazz band and did well academically, so that was what we paid attention to.
Things were different for our son. He was not a member of the majority ethnic group and, with blond hair and blue eyes, he stood out. He got on a drum squad in seventh grade and our daughter told us that that made him cool. He didn’t tell us much about what was going on, but we were in the clueless parent stage of his adolescence and we didn’t push.
He went to summer school after seventh grade. I picked him up one day and he was upset to the point of tears. A classmate of his had been shot and killed on the way home from school by another classmate the day before. We went to the wake together and my heart broke to see a child in a casket. My son was devastated.
We sent him back there for eight-grade. In the middle of the year, my husband got a call from the vice principal telling him that our son was beaten up. My husband took him to urgent care because one eye was swollen shut and he worried about a head injury. At a meeting we requested a few days later, the vice principal passed it off as normal junior high male behavior and, since it did not take place on school grounds, assumed no responsibility.
It was a young teacher’s aide who came to our home and gave us an education on gang behavior. He told us that the attack was most likely done by a gang. The murder of our son’s classmate the summer before was probably a gang initiation. We finally got the message and our son never went back to that school.
We tightened our belts and paid for a private school on the other side of town. My husband drove our son to a bus stop outside of our neighborhood because the teacher’s aide said he might be retaliated against if he waited for the city bus in our neighborhood. Years later when I told a police officer this story she told me we probably saved our son’s life.
Both my husband and I still feel guilty for not acting sooner to protect our son. Our first responsibility as parents is to keep our children safe. Our son is now married with two children of his own. He assures us that he has forgiven us, but I don’t know if we’ll ever forgive ourselves.
It is this story that provided the impetus for this book and inspired the title: What Were We Thinking? Parents Confess Their Biggest Mistakes so You Can Avoid Them. Our goal is to share stories that will help other parents in a positive way.
When our son entered junior high we knew he would be dealing with the challenges that puberty brings. We had been through it already with our daughter, and she managed with a minimum of stress, or so we thought.
The local public elementary school was very good, but the junior high did not have a good reputation. Our daughter completed grades seven, eight and nine there. She had told us about “fights with blood” at school and we knew the mother of one of her friends was in jail. Students who did well academically were mocked in school award assemblies. She played saxophone in the jazz band and did well academically, so that was what we paid attention to.
Things were different for our son. He was not a member of the majority ethnic group and, with blond hair and blue eyes, he stood out. He got on a drum squad in seventh grade and our daughter told us that that made him cool. He didn’t tell us much about what was going on, but we were in the clueless parent stage of his adolescence and we didn’t push.
He went to summer school after seventh grade. I picked him up one day and he was upset to the point of tears. A classmate of his had been shot and killed on the way home from school by another classmate the day before. We went to the wake together and my heart broke to see a child in a casket. My son was devastated.
We sent him back there for eight-grade. In the middle of the year, my husband got a call from the vice principal telling him that our son was beaten up. My husband took him to urgent care because one eye was swollen shut and he worried about a head injury. At a meeting we requested a few days later, the vice principal passed it off as normal junior high male behavior and, since it did not take place on school grounds, assumed no responsibility.
It was a young teacher’s aide who came to our home and gave us an education on gang behavior. He told us that the attack was most likely done by a gang. The murder of our son’s classmate the summer before was probably a gang initiation. We finally got the message and our son never went back to that school.
We tightened our belts and paid for a private school on the other side of town. My husband drove our son to a bus stop outside of our neighborhood because the teacher’s aide said he might be retaliated against if he waited for the city bus in our neighborhood. Years later when I told a police officer this story she told me we probably saved our son’s life.
Both my husband and I still feel guilty for not acting sooner to protect our son. Our first responsibility as parents is to keep our children safe. Our son is now married with two children of his own. He assures us that he has forgiven us, but I don’t know if we’ll ever forgive ourselves.
It is this story that provided the impetus for this book and inspired the title: What Were We Thinking? Parents Confess Their Biggest Mistakes so You Can Avoid Them. Our goal is to share stories that will help other parents in a positive way.
I Should Have Given Her a Time Out
Jan and Molly
Basically, I should have done a zillion wonderful things with her, rather than a mere few thousand. But the dumbest thing is still painful for me to recall.
Molly was an adorable little imp, about 6-years-old. We had two-story scaffolding on our home during a remodel. I warned my Molly not to climb on it. I was very clear and emphatic.
Several days later, I looked out the window and saw that she was on it. I said to myself, “ Well, I warned her, and if she doesn't listen to me, that’s just . . . too bad!" I let her climb. She fell and required stitches in her scalp. So. Dumb. I should have simply demanded she get down and assign a time out in her room. I don't spank.
Molly is now in her thirties. I emailed this admission of parental regret to her and she replied, telling me that she not had climbed the scaffold to spite me. I was surprised because it had never really occurred to me that she was ‘”spiting” me by disobeying. To me, that seemed out of her character.
As I remember it, my anger (which now seemed spiteful on my part) came out of a feeling that my warnings were simply unimportant to her. When a daughter doesn’t respect her daddy’s words, then what? It was such a comedown from feeling I was important (and to be listened to).
I realize now I was important to her, but she just didn’t see me as infallible. Or, maybe, she just had forgotten my warnings and saw no problem in climbing that scaffold. Knowing her, that is most likely.
Jan and Molly
Basically, I should have done a zillion wonderful things with her, rather than a mere few thousand. But the dumbest thing is still painful for me to recall.
Molly was an adorable little imp, about 6-years-old. We had two-story scaffolding on our home during a remodel. I warned my Molly not to climb on it. I was very clear and emphatic.
Several days later, I looked out the window and saw that she was on it. I said to myself, “ Well, I warned her, and if she doesn't listen to me, that’s just . . . too bad!" I let her climb. She fell and required stitches in her scalp. So. Dumb. I should have simply demanded she get down and assign a time out in her room. I don't spank.
Molly is now in her thirties. I emailed this admission of parental regret to her and she replied, telling me that she not had climbed the scaffold to spite me. I was surprised because it had never really occurred to me that she was ‘”spiting” me by disobeying. To me, that seemed out of her character.
As I remember it, my anger (which now seemed spiteful on my part) came out of a feeling that my warnings were simply unimportant to her. When a daughter doesn’t respect her daddy’s words, then what? It was such a comedown from feeling I was important (and to be listened to).
I realize now I was important to her, but she just didn’t see me as infallible. Or, maybe, she just had forgotten my warnings and saw no problem in climbing that scaffold. Knowing her, that is most likely.